Irrelevance

My first post in 2012. That fact is irrelevant to anything. Not many would be fortunate enough to ever read this so if you are, rejoice and be comforted by the also irrelevant fact that you are the only people to read this. Repetition for the win. Where am I going with this post, I'm not too sure.

Okay, let's go. Sometimes I feel irrelevant too. Irrelevant at class. Irrelevant at school. So basically I feel irrelevant in this world so far. At this stage, my life revolves around life in school but not for long. Hopefully, my irrelevance would improve in the future when I'll be off somewhere reinventing myself and being a better person.

Still, I'm in the present now. So the question is : Why do I feel irrelevant especially? Normally, I'd start answering this question by flipping the pages of my dictionary for a definition. Since this is not an English exam question, I'll just use my head. I don't feel involved in anything. Sure I'm a student and as a student I do my homework, do a bit of studying, hang out with my friends and other mischief. I just feel left out in the running of things. I don't feel essential to anything. If I were to be absent indefinitely, nobody would be too bothered. At least that's how I feel. Maybe this will improve.

Now, some might say that I'm being ungrateful. I might be but I really thank everyone who has ever given a damn about me. Thank you. And this would be my last year in a school which I have made many memories and as many friends. I don't want to leave at a bad note. So, I'd be trying my best to show my gratitude to everyone and everything that happens this year.

What a nice way to start posting once again.

December...

Gosh, where has all time gone? The time has run away in the blink of an eye. I still remember the first day of school this year. As if  it was yesterday. 11 months on and here I am. Don't get wrong. If time never moved on, we wouldn't experience anything and we wouldn't grow into what we are today. Through the passing of time, I'd like to think that I've improved as a person, physically and mentally. Sure, there are certain things that are still annoying me but hey, I still have time even though it is moving at a blistering pace. Mark my words. Sooner or later I would be off somewhere living my own life, older and wiser. I'm sure you would be living your lives in your own ways too. It's scary to think of the future but I'm not focusing too far into the future. My main objective is the here and now. See, if I screw up today, tomorrow would be bad for me. Simple, right?

December is also the month of Christmas, both the religious one and the overhyped and overmarketed one. At least it's the season to be jolly. Spend time with our families. Exchange presents. It's also the last month of the year before a new one begins. So wouldn't we want to forgive people who have done us wrong and also to be forgiven? That's it for now. Hopefully, I'll post soon.

The next month is November.

Yes it's November already and it's a special day. 11th day of the 11th month of the 11th year in this millenium. This happens every 1000 years. Many people have been looking forward to this day. Some say it's the date for all singles. Some say it's lucky. My friend wants to make a wish later at 11.11pm and 11 seconds. That's because he missed his wish at 1.11pm and 11 seconds. His reaction when I told him the time that time(haha)? "FUCK!". Reasonable reaction, no?

That man knows how to express himself. In symbols.

I'm still not convinced that today has any extra significance. Well, it may be the only 11.11.11 I'll ever have the pleasure of living through  and that's the only significance that I can think of. However, everyday is different. We will not go through tomorrow like we did today. So yes in that sense today was special.

My school had its annual Talentine competition today. What I can say is that this year's competition is the most competitive and all the acts are top notch. I can only reacall one act which screwed up. Overall, I had an enjoyable time. Sadly this would be the last time I'd be able to enjoy it. The winner ended up to be a guitar solo act. What won it for him was his ability to entertain the crowd. He played to the crowd well but  I think he overplayed it a little. Still his guitar skills were great and I have no complaints.

I do feel the urge to say something though. When the winner finished his performance and went up on stage to receive his reward, everybody was clapping and cheering on  rapturously. People were talking about how amazing he was. The funny thing to me was many people had a gripe with him before.

He isn't exactly the person everybody wants to be friends with. He had ruffled the wrong feathers before. When he was performing I saw one of my teachers literally chuffed to bits. She must have thought that he was novelty like a funny doll doing its thing, like he was a clown making people laugh. Nobody had thought he had an ability to play the guitar. Nobody had taken him seriously before. Maybe people thought the performance was a comedy show.

Suddenly, people are saying congratulations and saying how great he was just after he proved his abilities. I feel that people want to be a part of his glory. The sad thing is that nobody wanted to have anything to do with him before. It just proves my theory that people are like crustaceans looking for a shell. If there is a good shell, the crustacean would use it and when it wears out the crab will leave it behind. Just like people. They only want to share the good times, not the bullcrap.

I think you might have had enough of my rant. Now I rest.

The next month

Inspiration comes and goes. Surprisingly, all sort of inspiration to blog left me for the month of August. It's like a friend who went on vacation. He just came back yesterday from the wilderness of BOREDOM and gave me a souvenir: the ability to blog. So we are all very grateful to Mr. Inspiration.

I'm on the last day of a one week holiday for Hari Raya and Merdeka. Like any other holiday, I feel I have wasted this holiday. Maybe I didn't. I could have gained something in my subconscious. I definitely bonded with my parents. We were going to different places almost everyday. By "places" I mean shopping malls. In shopping malls there obviously stuff to buy. Most of the stufff are clothes. That's a problem. I saw clothes after clothes after clothes until I got sick of them. I have to admit that I'm not a shopping person like the majority of guys aren't either. It's cool once a week, not 7 days a week. Oh well, let's see if I'd be saying the same thing when school resumes.

The highlight of the holiday would be my friend Sarah's birthday "thing". I can't think of a word to call it. Basically, she invited 7 people to a hotel for lunch and dinner at a hotel. Me and 2 other guys stayed overnight in the room booked for this "thing". The "thing" was awesome and fun. Awesome-ly fun. Funnily awesome. I managed to socialise with friends I had been dying to "get-to-know" better. And Sarah, if you are reading this, I am eternally honoured to had been invited.

What is the word to use when you want to "get-to-know" someone better? I've come up with "attracted". Can anyone think of a better word? I would love to say that I'm preparing another video to upload soon but I beat around the bush a lot. So replace "preparing" with "thinking of an idea for" and "soon" with "within the next 5 years" and you'd get what I mean. Well, we have to start somewhere.

Dilemna.

While my friends, Marcus and Sarah, went for a Christian Fellowship Rally and concert, I went to a party with loud music, dancing and girls wearing skimpy outfits. God bless my soul.

That party was Su Min's 16th birthday party. I'm not even sure the term "birthday" should be used here. When I think of "birthday", I think of cakes, candles, smiles, balloons, clowns and basically bright places. Instead what I experienced was more of "teenager's wet dream" than "birthday". The scene was more like this:

"Mommy, where them girls at?"

The place was called Sanook. The party was on the second floor. There was a bar. You know the one serving alcohol type. Not the ones you walk into and hurt yourself. It was dimly lit with brightly coloured lights. About 70 people came. That's a lot for a small place.

It started innocently enough. The girls were still in skimpy outfits though. Not that I'm complaining much. We played a game where the person needs to bite a bag on the floor on one leg. With every successful try, the bag is folded smaller.

The fun started when the girls played musical chairs. The catch: Guys are sitting on the chairs. So, you know, the girls had to sit on the guys. I was one of the guys *jumps for joy*. Now, I'm not the most horny person you'll ever meet but it was...exciting? This was the first time and it feels weird to have girl to sit on my legs. I will never view a game of musical chairs the same again. I think I was one of  the last 5 guys sitting. Needless to say, it was fun although my thighs felt slightly sore afterwards.

This, to a somewhat lesser extent, happened.

At about 9, Su Min blew the candle off and made a speech. The party went wild after that. Did I mention there was a Dj playing music? He turned the volumes up and everybody started dancing. Everybody showed off their moves. Me? I sat on the chair. I can't dance to save my life. I tried though but all I did was jump around like a monkey. Many did that too. Everyone was hot and sweaty after dancing.

I went home at about 11. In conclusion. I'm not well suited to clubbing. I'll have some fun but I wouldn't want to go clubbing many times. One last thing to say: Happy Birthday and thank you for inviting me Su Min.

P.s. Don't judge me. Please?

3 days later.

When I asked someone, "Have I changed?", he replied, " NO, YOU NEVER CHANGE!". 

He sure looks angry. Maybe if I tickle him...

It was actually more like this, "No, you never change." I can't tell everyone I have changed because I don't know that. All I can say for sure is I look more like my dad everyday. Even then my look hasn't changed over the years. I roughly have the same hair, the same face and the same frown. Do you think I have changed?
I remember crying a lot in Pre-school because of dreaded CRAMPS. In Primary school, I was super quiet. I stuck exclusively to a few friends. I realized how quiet I was because some of my friends forgot that I was in their class. HOW CAN THEY FORGET ME!?

When I was in Std 6, everything changed for the better. I started talking more, being more gay and had more friends. It improved until now. I'm less quite but I'm still quiet. Confused? I'm content with the connections I've made so far. But I still feel that I'm too quiet. Can anyone help me?

3 days is a long time in the internet world. In the real world? Not very long. Or is it the other way around?Anyway, I'll probably upload a new video next week. Hopefully I'd have something to talk about by that time.

Reactions to video.

In the last few days I have uploaded 2 videos featuring me talking. I'm proud and grateful to say that I received positive comments about both of them. Thank you everyone.

So today was the unexpected holiday. Nothing happened today. I can't say that I'm surprised. I'm not a fan of a holiday between school days. Of course you'd be happy the day before but then, when it's actually the holiday you'd be wondering,"Oh dear. Tomorrow is a school day. I have homework and an exam tomorrow. It's 11.22 p.m. and I haven't done my English homework."

Things I Did Today

1. Woke up at 6 a.m. After I showered, I slept again before waking up at 7.30 a.m.
2. Had breakfast.
3. Watched some tv.
4. Sat on a chair outside on my balcony. Self-meditation? It was peaceful.
5. 10 minutes later, I got bored and started watching movies.
6. 3 hours later, my parents came home and we had lunch.
7. Played a game on my laptop before taking a nap. A 4 hour nap.
8. Woke up and had dinner. Took a shower.
9. Watched a Korean drama.
10. Here I am, posting this on my blog. Reading positive comments about the videos. Thanks again everyone!